Wedding Tip Wednesday: Its your wedding, no one else's
I had this great idea forever ago that I was going to make this killer blog post of things that will help your wedding photography be as awesome as possible. Well, months later, its the middle of wedding season and it still hasn't even sort of happened. So, with that, I've decided to break that sucker up and add to it to make a weekly (hopefully) post of helpful tips to make your wedding extra special. Most will be directly linked to your photography, but some will just be about your wedding in general. Hilariously, my first one doesn't relate to photography. So, without further ado, I present you with TIP #1-
ITS YOUR WEDDING, NO ONE ELSE'S. You know whose wedding it isn't? Your sisters, your DJ's, or your florists. You know whose wedding it IS? Yours. You know who else's wedding it isn't? Your venues, your great aunt Gertrude's, or even your photographers. You know whose wedding it is? You guessed it- yours. For the sake of loving your wedding the day of and having the best memories for many years to come, do what you and your partner want to do.
There will be a lot (and I mean a LOT) of people giving you advice on what you should be doing in regards to your wedding. And you know what? I'll be one of them. I'm not saying to totally disregard what people are telling you, after all, its likely they've either had a wedding themselves or are in the wedding industry. What I am saying is when someone tells you of something you "have" to do/have at your wedding, ask WHY and make sure its something you want.
There are a lot of really good reasons certain things are common at weddings. Why should you have a cocktail hour between the ceremony and reception? Because if you have photos to take in that time frame (and 99% of the time you do) your guests have nothing to do- which is just mean, and will come bug you while you're trying to take said photos- which is annoying and wastes a lot of time.
There are also a lot of common things at wedding that have no real reason besides tradition or normalcy. One of my most hated answers to a question ever is "because." (sorry mom). But seriously, if someone does not have a real enough reason other than "that's what you're supposed to do" you have all the right in the world to question it and decide whether you want to do it or not. Why should you have a wedding cake when you don't even like cake? Good freaking question. You want pie? Cheesecake? Donuts? An ice cream bar? There is absolutely no good reason why you have to have a cake. Your dog is awesome and you really want him to be your ring bearer? Do it.
I had a couple this year that's not so into PDA who had a "first hug" during there ceremony. Why do you have to have a kiss? You don't. I had a timeline consult the other day and I asked my bride about the order of the first dances- if it was theirs then parent dances, or parents first, then theirs. She said theirs then parents because that's what the DJ said they are supposed to do. (that may not be exact words but same general idea.) Personally, I actually prefer parents first then the couples first dance. It makes more sense to me- parents giving their kids away and such. That said, its her day, not mine, and I told her she can do whatever she wants to do. I couldn't care less if she wanted to do their first dance first, last, or during the ceremony- all I want is to know what to expect.
My point to all of this is be true to yourselves as a couple and ask questions of people that understand how weddings work. I'm always happy to answer my couples random questions and I'm incredibly honest. Take in what people say but ultimately remember- its your wedding, not theirs.